April 15, 2013 was what would’ve been our anniversary.
This is one of my favorite photos of all time. It was the weekend of your birthday in 2012. I was glad to know you were happy with just the thought of going to Disneyland. And I wish you were always happy, but I guess I’ve made too many mistakes for that. The few things I ever regret in the relationship we had was that I didn’t visit you everyday. I used to ring your doorbell and show up with a dozen roses for you or your mom, your favorite focus Vitamin Water, and Lindor Truffles in white chocolate. Then you’d answer your door with your pajamas, try to hide your blushing face, say “oh my god” and laugh your embarrassment off. I just wished you were more inviting into your home because I could never go inside unless your mom invites me in herself. But, I feel like I’ll never be able to do that for you again.
I really don’t know what happened towards the end of us. It was 4 days before our anniversary and you wanted to disappear from me. Regardless of what’s happened, your happiness always meant the world to me even if you were mad at me and I was willing to sacrifice anything for you. I know that I’m not the best in anything for that matter, but I’m glad you gave me the opportunity to understand you. Let’s face it; I never was the most exciting, the funniest, or the most romantic. I never had good vision and straight teeth, and I got my license pretty late. But, I would’ve stood up against anyone for you and your problems were my problems. You had a lot of problems, I won’t deny it, but I never left your side when facing them. Not everyone liked you, but I was hoping that it didn’t matter as long as I did. Everyone’s words hurt me as much as they did you, but you can’t get on everyone’s good side. There were also those girls that you would get jealous of and there were guys that I would get jealous of, but we would get through it. It’s more difficult to prove to you, but I’ve never been ashamed of you. I don’t always post pictures of us or even tweet about us all the time, but I would never deny that you were my girlfriend. I wish you were still my girlfriend even if we’ll fight half the times I’m awake.
We’ve broken up multiple times before, but we would always find a way back together. For some reason, it felt different this time though. I kept telling myself that it was some type of sick joke that you would say at least one word to me on our anniversary. I kept telling myself that you were just trying to surprise me and end up giving me the biggest hug ever on our anniversary. I kept telling myself that we’ll be happy together on our anniversary. I guess a lot has changed from when you were so scared to hold my hand in the movie theater 18 months ago on, what I consider, our first date. I really do miss you, Andwea.